My Own Fangirl Story

Kpop fandom is a one-way trip. Once you get into it, it is hard to get out. I was once someone who try to criticize kpop. I can't understand why fans love their idols. Why do they get so attached, do they even know what those songs meant? Until I realize, I, too, scream over those good-looking guys whom I can only meet if I spend thousands of peso for a concert.

Back in 2009, my classmates (in high school) somehow discovered kpop. It isn't as big before compared today. Their fist bias were TVXQ and SHINee. And since some of them were my seatmates, we share fanfic print outs. My favorite story was "Within Me", TVXQ fic focused on Changmin. And like watching a Korean drama, I was crying in my room because of the story's sad ending. But I was not a kpop fan then. I imagine Changmin and other members differently. 

In February 2010, things changed. I was randomly looking at my classmate's notebook and saw Taemin's pic. He was very cute and charming. I felt really attracted to him that the moment I went home, I googled SHINee's Taemin. I saved pictures, downloaded their songs, and watched videos with my younger sister.

I thought to myself "I won't get addicted to this. I won't spend money for them. I'm just a fan, I can support them online." But what do I have now? Posters, albums, merch..I even become a fan of different idols. I become a subber, forum moderator, forum admin and such. I also attend kpop events with my sister (and high school friends). And now what? I make blog posts about kpop.

But now that I'm two years away from my college graduation, I'm not as active on fansites, cafes, and I don't get much update about kpop. Well, at least, thanks to tlist I somehow get news. It doesn't make me stop from being a fangirl. I actually use kpop as an inspiration and motivation. I use kpop songs or instrumentals for my class video presentations, I think of Korean CFs when I need a concept for advertising or scriptwriting. Also, I tell myself that my bias trained for years to get what he want, what he dreamt about, and I am less than two years away from my own dream, so I shouldn't quit now. It works, trust me. 

What I learned in kpop is that I have to be open to opinions, and think positively. I learned that fans aren't similar. We came from different places, different culture, different races and we all have any other differences. What we have in similar is that we create a new community that loves kpop, and it is something that brings us together.